First of all, great list. I really like it. I can confirm that the mental health journey never ends. It has ups and downs and changes over time but is always ongoing.
One thing you talked about in your recent stream was about grieving the loss of all the days you missed not going to social things or not doing something you wanted to because of feeling depressed/anxious. I think that is an excellent idea. The process of grief is normal and important. A recent family death triggered the grieving process but as I get through it, I realize that its healthy and its good and its normal. Of course funerals are no fun and crying uncontrollably sucks and feeling sad is no fun, but going through the process is actually good for my mental health. I really like the idea of grieving lost social events, going through the process and coming out better.
And if your reading this Ben and its past midnight, then go to bed and get some sleep.
It's hard. When you feel like you should constantly be doing something because there are so many things to do but you don't and you feel worse because then you just doom scroll or literally stare at the ceiling fretting about all the things you're not doing but then not doing stuff is 100% needed!
Social and sustenance are most difficult for me (and sleep, but that's out of my control).
Sustenance weighs a lot on me, especially with another whole human I now need to feed.
Social is always a struggle. Recently my friend group and I started sending each other weekly video life updates. I'm about 4 weeks behind.
I've always liked this list of esses. Maybe because I find it hard to simplify things so well.
Yeah, exactly. It can all get so overwhelming, so easily. But sleep, sweat, sustenance, sunlight, social, space is simple. Not easy, necessarily, but simple enough to focus on.
Thank you for this post, Ben. You have a wonderful gift for writing and explaining a concept fully. You stated that you are an introvert, and I can see that quality in your writing. Introverts see the world around them differently than extroverts; you look at the people and events around you and often see the very deep truths. We are better for listening to you and taking in your observations. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this, Ben. Between work and the internet and the craziness of the world, it's easy for me to forget that, in the most basic way, we're all just biological beings and really HAVE to have all of these things to live and function well. I need to remember, as we all do, that rest and self-care is a form of productivity, and should be a focus, not a side-gig. Thanks again for this post. Well-written, well thought out, and well-conveyed. I'm going to try to keep this list in my mind as I continue to try and navigate this crazy life, and try to work on taking better care of ME. Thank you, Ben, and you also keep fighting the good fight!
Awesome read man. I can definitely advocate your six s’s being a diagnostic protocol to deal with this thing I can’t shake too. I do often wonder if my anxiety and depression is the byproduct of my personality and artistic pursuits - if there was a cure it’s probably the sacrifice of something dear to me - if so, fck the cure I’ll 6 s that sht till the end :p
Thank you for sharing your insight. Took me a while to get to read and longer to reply but here goes.
First off, perhaps the blind have a unique insight in leading the blind. The fact that you survived this long with all these issues already make you somewhat qualified. Mental health is never easy but I think it's great to have a framework for dealing with it. It's a long hard journey and you need any help you can get.
These S's are so simple and yet so hard. You know what you have to do, you probably heard all of this from your parents at some point, but actually realizing its importance and doing it is another matter. You gotta listen to your body but not too much because it tends to be dramatic. I used to have weird random pains that most times doctors could not identify the cause for. It was probably just my mental health manifesting as physical.
Working out had always been the hardest for me. For many years I had chronic fatigue and couldn't even do light exercise. Thankfully, I'm much better now and trying to catch up. Watching your advice on streams helped my motivation and I'm really trying to exercise whenever I can. Now just seeing your stream conditioned me to get up and move)
I feel like silence has been especially overlooked for mental health. I was always a solitary person but sharing an apartment with strangers for the past 1,5 years has made me realize that solitude is crucial for me, I longed even for 10 minutes to be alone. It's interesting that privacy is a relatively new concept but it feels so necessary. Perhaps it's just the oversaturated world we live in.
Getting sunlight has also been a struggle. I want to add that vitamins and supplements have been a big help for me. It's a controversial topic but I think people just go about it wrong. Taking random supplements makes little sense. But if you actually take some tests and find out you have a certain deficiency, it can be a great thing. Vitamin D and iron and some of the most common ones, I spent about a year restoring those to normal levels before working on keeping it up.
But yeah, these things are all related. Improving one aspect might help improve another one so you can see the progress. And healing is never linear, some days or even months all you can do is just hanging on.
As for 'fixing yourself'...
To me, depression and anxiety have been constant companions. For many years I felt like I was drowning and it took all of my strength just to keep my head above the surface. And for the longest time it felt like it would always be that way, that I'm simply predisposed, broken. But I am currently of an opinion that even bad anxiety and depression can be healed. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy, it's hard and long and painful, and it's the hardest thing you even did, but it's also 100% worth it. For many years it felt like depression and anxiety were a part of my personality. Now, living without them, I know that's not true. It took me about 15 years, a lot of struggle and trial and error but I feel stronger and healthier than ever. It feels like a miracle, really. But it's not. It's hard work and continuing to fight against all odds. I feel like only now I'm truly who I always meant to be. I feel unstoppable, like I broke my chains. And all the pain I went through mattered. You are not your illness.
But the thing is, at the end of the day, only you can heal yourself. And I seldom recommend things that worked for me to people because everyone's different and there's no magic cure, if they're not ready for it, it's not gonna work.
Sorry for making this about myself. The point is, it's hard as hell, but it's doable. So I hope you don't resign yourself. Chur.
Thanks Maria. Sounds like you and I have been on similar journeys. I agree with everything you wrote. And I'm glad my words have been some sort of help to you.
First of all, great list. I really like it. I can confirm that the mental health journey never ends. It has ups and downs and changes over time but is always ongoing.
One thing you talked about in your recent stream was about grieving the loss of all the days you missed not going to social things or not doing something you wanted to because of feeling depressed/anxious. I think that is an excellent idea. The process of grief is normal and important. A recent family death triggered the grieving process but as I get through it, I realize that its healthy and its good and its normal. Of course funerals are no fun and crying uncontrollably sucks and feeling sad is no fun, but going through the process is actually good for my mental health. I really like the idea of grieving lost social events, going through the process and coming out better.
And if your reading this Ben and its past midnight, then go to bed and get some sleep.
I agree. Part of having true mental "health" is not always demonizing things like sadness and grief. Sometimes it is very much appropriate to be sad.
(and it's only 10:46pm, I'm fiiiiiiiiine)
It's hard. When you feel like you should constantly be doing something because there are so many things to do but you don't and you feel worse because then you just doom scroll or literally stare at the ceiling fretting about all the things you're not doing but then not doing stuff is 100% needed!
Social and sustenance are most difficult for me (and sleep, but that's out of my control).
Sustenance weighs a lot on me, especially with another whole human I now need to feed.
Social is always a struggle. Recently my friend group and I started sending each other weekly video life updates. I'm about 4 weeks behind.
I've always liked this list of esses. Maybe because I find it hard to simplify things so well.
Yeah, exactly. It can all get so overwhelming, so easily. But sleep, sweat, sustenance, sunlight, social, space is simple. Not easy, necessarily, but simple enough to focus on.
Thank you for this post, Ben. You have a wonderful gift for writing and explaining a concept fully. You stated that you are an introvert, and I can see that quality in your writing. Introverts see the world around them differently than extroverts; you look at the people and events around you and often see the very deep truths. We are better for listening to you and taking in your observations. Thank you.
Thanks for the kind words. I'm truly touched that my words have any kind of impact. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this, Ben. Between work and the internet and the craziness of the world, it's easy for me to forget that, in the most basic way, we're all just biological beings and really HAVE to have all of these things to live and function well. I need to remember, as we all do, that rest and self-care is a form of productivity, and should be a focus, not a side-gig. Thanks again for this post. Well-written, well thought out, and well-conveyed. I'm going to try to keep this list in my mind as I continue to try and navigate this crazy life, and try to work on taking better care of ME. Thank you, Ben, and you also keep fighting the good fight!
Thanks Lacy. I'm glad my words were somewhat useful haha.
Awesome read man. I can definitely advocate your six s’s being a diagnostic protocol to deal with this thing I can’t shake too. I do often wonder if my anxiety and depression is the byproduct of my personality and artistic pursuits - if there was a cure it’s probably the sacrifice of something dear to me - if so, fck the cure I’ll 6 s that sht till the end :p
Peace!
Well written! Its nice to read the Six S's in full.
Thank you for sharing your insight. Took me a while to get to read and longer to reply but here goes.
First off, perhaps the blind have a unique insight in leading the blind. The fact that you survived this long with all these issues already make you somewhat qualified. Mental health is never easy but I think it's great to have a framework for dealing with it. It's a long hard journey and you need any help you can get.
These S's are so simple and yet so hard. You know what you have to do, you probably heard all of this from your parents at some point, but actually realizing its importance and doing it is another matter. You gotta listen to your body but not too much because it tends to be dramatic. I used to have weird random pains that most times doctors could not identify the cause for. It was probably just my mental health manifesting as physical.
Working out had always been the hardest for me. For many years I had chronic fatigue and couldn't even do light exercise. Thankfully, I'm much better now and trying to catch up. Watching your advice on streams helped my motivation and I'm really trying to exercise whenever I can. Now just seeing your stream conditioned me to get up and move)
I feel like silence has been especially overlooked for mental health. I was always a solitary person but sharing an apartment with strangers for the past 1,5 years has made me realize that solitude is crucial for me, I longed even for 10 minutes to be alone. It's interesting that privacy is a relatively new concept but it feels so necessary. Perhaps it's just the oversaturated world we live in.
Getting sunlight has also been a struggle. I want to add that vitamins and supplements have been a big help for me. It's a controversial topic but I think people just go about it wrong. Taking random supplements makes little sense. But if you actually take some tests and find out you have a certain deficiency, it can be a great thing. Vitamin D and iron and some of the most common ones, I spent about a year restoring those to normal levels before working on keeping it up.
But yeah, these things are all related. Improving one aspect might help improve another one so you can see the progress. And healing is never linear, some days or even months all you can do is just hanging on.
As for 'fixing yourself'...
To me, depression and anxiety have been constant companions. For many years I felt like I was drowning and it took all of my strength just to keep my head above the surface. And for the longest time it felt like it would always be that way, that I'm simply predisposed, broken. But I am currently of an opinion that even bad anxiety and depression can be healed. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy, it's hard and long and painful, and it's the hardest thing you even did, but it's also 100% worth it. For many years it felt like depression and anxiety were a part of my personality. Now, living without them, I know that's not true. It took me about 15 years, a lot of struggle and trial and error but I feel stronger and healthier than ever. It feels like a miracle, really. But it's not. It's hard work and continuing to fight against all odds. I feel like only now I'm truly who I always meant to be. I feel unstoppable, like I broke my chains. And all the pain I went through mattered. You are not your illness.
But the thing is, at the end of the day, only you can heal yourself. And I seldom recommend things that worked for me to people because everyone's different and there's no magic cure, if they're not ready for it, it's not gonna work.
Sorry for making this about myself. The point is, it's hard as hell, but it's doable. So I hope you don't resign yourself. Chur.
Thanks Maria. Sounds like you and I have been on similar journeys. I agree with everything you wrote. And I'm glad my words have been some sort of help to you.